With the Olympics over, our ability to watch regular TV resumed (at least until the Paralympics starts), and things that were released in the past few weeks could go on our ‘we could watch that’ list. Of course, being a Millennial, the America’s Next Top Model documentary was at the top of the list. I’ve actually been re-watching a lot of ANTM lately. For those in the UK the early cycles are showing for free on rotation on Pluto, which is available via app (either on your phone/tablet or, for some people, as an app available on your TV – we get it on our Samsung TV). We have the last episode yet to watch so I’ll reserve my specific thoughts on that for now. But, with early 2000s reality shows at the top of my mind, I thought I’d do a rundown of some of the reality shows from the early 2000s that form part of my cultural lexicon.
- America’s Next Top Model
Ah, ANTM. There were a lot of problematic moments (moreso with hindsight), but there were also some classic reality moments and characters. Viewed as an outsider as a TV series, it was gold.
An understated moment that I will never not quote is Jade pointing at every letter in the acronym on the wall “This is not America’s.Next.Top.BestFriend”.
Inspired by the ANTM format but a completely different beast, we also still quote America’s Most Smartest Model and Blonde Rachel (rhombus, rhombus). And of course, for those who loved Janice Dickinson (World’s First Supermodel apparently), there was The Janice Dickinson Modelling Agency and then a programme where Janice Dickinson mentored Abbey Clancy as she attempted to break LA, which I mostly remember for Janice telling Abbey she needed to be a smaller size in jeans.
- The Hills
I didn’t watch Laguna Beach when it first aired and so my first introduction to that universe was through The Hills. Naively I assumed this would be much more focused on working at Teen Vogue and I got suckered in on that false premise. Then I quickly realised this was not that (if you want something a bit more reality-focused on working at a magazine, try and find Running In Heels, a show that followed three interns working at the New York office of Marie Claire or, the more recent So Cosmo which focused on the editors of Cosmopolitan).
Along with the rest of the world I was there though for “You know what you did!”, the naming of Justin Bobby, that solo mascara tear (that turned out to be a liquid eyeliner tear) and the creation of Speidi.
I watched Laguna Beach after The Hills, but it has never held the same magic for me as The Hills. Likewise The City. I avoided the reboot for The Hills like the plague.
- Newlyweds
I feel like this is where it all really started in terms of reality TV ‘stars’. Nick and Jessica Simpson were, of course, not unknowns before the show in the US at least, but as far as I’m concerned, this is when Jessica Simpson became a household name and Nick Lachey became someone that those of us in the UK became aware of. Although as for Chicken of the Sea, I’m still none the wiser, but I do know that it’s tuna.
I’ve since watched at least some of this again via Youtube and it’s painfully obvious how incompatible these two were, especially as Nick became more and more unhappy and insecure as Jessica’s star rose and his faded. It’s also funny how little happened in this show. No production, no big storylines, just cameras following them around as Jess mostly moaned about things and Nick belittled his wife.
Jess somehow managing to accidentally spend something like $800 on a bra and two pairs of pants will live rent free in my head forever.
- Rich Girls
This was one that seems to have flown under the radar of most people. It didn’t reach the same heights as other shows and at least in the UK, I don’t think I’ve met anyone else who remembers it. It was a one season show following Ally Hilfiger (Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter) and her best friend Jaime Gleicher as they finished school and started to contemplate their adult lives.
Another reality show that seemed to play on the insecurity of one of the leads (Jaime, who seemed to need Ally more than the other way around), the standout moment was probably watching Ally Hilfiger have a breakdown at a poolhouse because she wanted a burrito. I think about it a lot, but apparently she was, unbeknownst to her, suffering from Lyme disease.
- Girls of the Playboy Mansion (in the US this was called The Girls Next Door)
How they managed to convince TV people that filming Hugh Hefner’s surgically-enhanced paid-for girlfriends could be a safe for work style show broadcast to teenagers is beyond me. And yet they did. They managed to gloss over the seediness and controlling and problematic nature of Hugh Hefner, the Mansion and Playboy generally, turning him into the harmless, almost cuddly ‘Hef’.
In addition to spanning multiple seasons and introducing non-Playboy readers to playmate Jayde Nicole (later to become girlfriend of Brody Jenner on The Hills and owner of scandal-hit Sugar Taco), it spawned spin-offs Holly’s World and Kendra.
- The Rachel Zoe Project
This one I didn’t catch until it came onto a streaming service in maybe around 2011-2012ish. I find Rachel Zoe absolutely captivating on TV. There’s something about her and I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s that she’s absolutely embedded in fashion and vintage and knows her pieces. I don’t know. But perhaps the fact that one of the best Snatch Game performances (in my view) was inspired by Rachel Zoe (Synthia Kiss, Drag Race Canada season 2) shows I’m not alone. The fact that it was done in front of her one-time assistant Brad Goreski makes it even funnier.
I understand she’s on one of the Real Housewives shows now, which is actually maybe enough to make me investigate Real Housewives.
- Project Runway
Like Top Model, this was more competition than reality as such, and so it does start to get a bit repetitive after a time (the same sort of challenges – unconventional materials etc). But, unlike Top Model, it created a genuine design star in the form of Christian Siriano. In addition, Tim Gunn might just be who I aspire to be in life – sharply dressed, articulate and thoughtful. And I will never not love a Michael Kors-ism – the man is a scream. Who knew fashion people were funny?!
(Along with Top Model, it loops on Pluto – NB. this is very much not an ad for Pluto, I just love old school reality TV.)
- Beauty and the Geek
Another reality competition show, where stereotypical geeks were paired with stereotypical beauties, to see if they could become more than just a beauty and a geek. This one genuinely had some very heartwarming moments when people who would never normally have to interact with each other had to team up. As with any show, it started to get a bit gimmicky but the early seasons were great.
- The Bachelor/The Bachelorette
I don’t know why the Bachelor franchise never really hit it huge over here in the UK. At one point it was airing on one of the terrestrial channels on a weekend morning, but why it didn’t become widely-watched or must-watch TV I don’t know. We did get our own short-lived version though – season one saw Gavin Henson take on the bachelor role and he was like a lamb to the slaughter, whereas season two saw Spencer Matthews take over and he was like a fox in a hen house.
We dropped into the Bachelor somehow right before overnights on Juan Pablo’s season (it’s not okay Juan Pablo) and then followed them through until pretty much the Covid seasons hit and the franchise took a nosedive.
I’m still not sure that any show will beat the episode in Chris Soules’ season, when Ashley I and Kelsey Poe (she loves her story, she has an amazing story…) went on a two on one date in the Badlands. We reference it frequently.
- Hogan Knows Best
In the style of The Osbournes, but with less drama, this reality show featured Hulk Hogan and his family. I ended up watching a lot of this because it was one of the shows that aired when I lived in Germany on my semester abroad and aired with a subbed version, rather than being dubbed into German.
Brooke (Hogan’s daughter) always seemed like a sweet girl pushing against a rather closed door of blonde pop princesses. in a post-Britney world The rest of her family seemed like a bit of a hot mess. Her reaction to Hulk Hogan’s passing and being basically written out of his will was very telling. She had a very mature and thoughtful response to what sounded like it was a very complicated and complex relationship and situation.
